Let me count the ways...
- …I use ellipses when I write…they reflect my lazy speech…and my lazy grammer...
- My wife says that I sound like a sleazy game show host when I’m speaking with people I don’t know over the phone. Apparently my suppressed nervousness transforms me into Guy Smiley.
- I sometimes take on another party’s accent during discussions. It’s involuntary, insulting, and embarrassing for all parties.
- I smoke a tobacco pipe in the evening; It was my compromise with tobacco. I can smoke, but only in the home. You can’t pull off a tobacco pipe as a fashion accessory until you’re well into your 40s.
- I love star gazing but know next to nothing about astronomy/physics/cosmology. It’s all about aesthetics...
- I usually retire to bed with a glass of water, but never take the glass back to the kitchen in the morning. It's not unusual for 8 glasses to be crowded onto my bedside dresser.
- I've still bite my nails and I'm lazy about discarding them. When my wife and I first began dating she was horrified to discover my "elephant graveyard" on the floorboard of my car.
I'm deeply flawed in other ways too... and so are you.
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